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When the time was right for both of us, we would work through our problems and come back to one another. I shed my regulars and concentrated on just one, a man younger than me by almost two decades.

And it was harmless, until I fell in too deep and wanted more than his messages.

I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.

And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then Parship is the right dating site for you.

Parship is the British branch of Europe's largest and most successful serious online service for professional dating, which members are predominantly affluent, educated men and women between 28 and 55 years old.

There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.

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My husband worked hard at his job and, to alleviate its accompanying pressures, developed his obsession with horseracing, gambling and drinking. These conversations quickly developed into cyber-sex, each message becoming more adventurous and racy and allowing me to live out fantasies I would never contemplate doing in the real world. My husband and I became strangers, our lives by now distinct entities. I told myself that what I was doing was essentially harmless.And so our long-nurtured virtual affair became real.He was young and beautiful and I couldn't believe that he wanted me.Lucy, an IBM Programme Manager who met Pete through Parship two years ago, says: “I loved the compatibility test where I then stood a chance of meeting someone who I really was compatible with.Because of this, I believe there is true honesty on the site by those who take the time to complete their profiles in detail and the compatibility test.

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