Relationship questions to ask while dating
Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Sit up and take notes, because believe me, you’ll want to feel prepared for the test that comes later. Do they love from their insecurities or do they love from their strengths?I first asked this question in 11 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask, and I think it boils down to this: Is their love based on you or is their love based on them?Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? If you or the person you’re dating loves out of their insecurities, their love will be needy and selfish. Marriage is budgets, laundry, broken toilets, work, weddings, funerals, births and everything in-between.After all, love can be the worst form of manipulation there is. We all have insecurities, fears, failures, painful memories, and just all around unattractive stuff we’re hiding in the back of our closet. Can you envision enjoying everyday life with the person you’re dating? Do you have three kids encased in white picket glory? Are you doing missions work in a different country?
They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
Too many marriages start (and end) with vague and un-identified core values. Become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination? We all go through intense, all-encompassing communication training for years; it’s called childhood.
Or are they challenging you to become more like Christ and consequently, become a better, authentic you? And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.