Pattern of dating unavailable men
For you, it may be time to reevaluate your standards and decide that you deserve to have a happy, healthy relationship with someone who meets your needs.
Create a list of your top three non-negotiables, and even when you get slack from your friends and family, who mean well, telling you your standards are high or you’re being too picky, don’t waver.
If this has been an issue for you, read these next words carefully: It’s not your job to make the other person happy. Believe me, you will save yourself a lot of wasted years, tears, and time by following this one rule.
If you’re ready to take responsibility for your dating life, consider taking a break to reevaluate your previous relationships, update and expand your standards, and work on your own happiness first.
While it’s perfectly normal to have had past relationships that affect how you approach new love, all too often the emotionally unavailable man or woman will proudly wear their past like a type of intimacy-repelling armour that prevents anyone getting closer – even those they’ve been seeing for a while.
Worrying about whether the other person was happy or not in my past relationships was emotionally draining, and never created a happy ending for me. I’m no longer looking to fix, change, or save anyone, nor restore their faith in relationships, and neither should you.
I’m almost ashamed to admit it but I stayed in relationships I should have never started because I thought I could save them. As if I had failed “him” somehow, because I wasn’t even good enough, much less better.
They were hurt and I could treat them better than their previous lover because, let’s face it, I’m better than everyone. It never occurred to me that “he” might have been just a jerk to begin with.
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