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After the painstaking process of answering 120 questions, I finally began to get matched.
I had selected men in the age range 28–41, and was paired with quite a few.
So, at 35, and still yet to find the right man to marry, would the online dating world be full of desperate souls seeking marriage so their lives could begin?
Or maybe I’d turn out to be one of those fortunate ones who shares in their wedding toast, ‘My husband is the best thing I found on the Internet.’For two months I would trial online agencies from my current home in a small town in northern California.
By end of week two, I had 62 ‘reasonable matches’ (people who were more than a 60% match).
But this only happened because I extended the distance range to the whole of the US. With the men I did take a shine to, it felt like we had to take exams before we could actually obtain contact. Some of them may well have later fled to the Internet in the hope they’d find their wife: soft in character, tall, with model looks, joker, non-smoker, prays in tongues at least 45 minutes a day, preferably a virgin, never confronts but isn’t a pushover... I appreciate the need to have standards when it comes to finding a life partner, but not when we’re unwilling to look at ourselves, or the fear so clearly attached to so many requirements.
This was confirmed by a survey conducted by OKCupid, which suggested that on average, men aged 20–50 prefer to date a girl in her early 20s.
‘I wish I’d burnt my cash and made a video of it on Instagram instead of waste my time on e Harmony,’ shared one friend.
The three of us had never had an issue with our age, until men on these sites started to highlight it – be it in messages, in conversation, or in their lock-down filters for girls under 29.
This process has made me aware that women are often more accepting of age than men are.
I procrastinated starting out on my assignment for a week as I battled with the ego and the fear of looking desperate.
I’d had serious relationships in the past, and the main feedback my pastors had given me was not that I wasn’t ready for marriage, nor wouldn’t make a great wife, but that I simply didn’t know what I wanted.