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You might have exhausted your local religious establishment or community singles organization. Here are my favorite locations and some tactics to help you do well once you get there.

For sheer numbers of eligible, motivated people, you can't beat online dating websites.

I listen sympathetically but don't share the conclusions. Mature singles have plenty of great people to choose from; but of course, you have to know where to look.

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Sailing clubs usually have more male than female members, and after races, they often hold informal dinners where people mix and swap stories.

Pay attention to the person's writing — serious people tend to write quite a bit about who they are and who they are looking for.

Be honest about who you are, about how you will be perceived, and about the kind of person who would appreciate you. Don't use a long, involved list of requirements that will narrow your choices down to four people on the entire planet. You can go to boutique online dating sites that select for people who want relationships and are so motivated that they will pay premium prices to find them.

I spoke at one of these clubs last year, and most of the people who attended were 40 .

Meet Women at Spas Men, if you are looking for a woman, go to a spa.

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